Blogs need to be imperfect, just like my CV

The blog issue is doing a great job of killing me.
Well, not literally, but it drains creative energy, leaving my head numb and my hands feeble as much as the all-feared white sheet of paper can inspire sudden death to the writer. Blogging is dangerous. If you want to make it perfect.

"danger" [www.xkcd.com]

I started blogging as a way – or a mission – to recollect my thinkings. Now, two weeks later, this whole blogging thing is pushing me to the edge of maddening doubt, where beyond that, all things go bananas or will become one. It has all to do with dullness, the Medusa effect and, of course, advertisement. Don’t worry, by the end you’ll know what I mean. But let me explain the cause of the problem first.

It started with the question: do I want to have separate blogs for my Dutch and English writings? The question got complicated by the fact that a lot of my earlier writings – in both languages – have to be collected, sorted, reviewed and connected with each other and put in some structure that makes sense. And because it’s not really creative in means of creating something new, it feels like a chore. Like chopping wood for logs. Exciting and risky as it may sound, unless you’ve mastered the skill of artistic woodcutting with a chainsaw, it isn’t going to tickle any artistic nerve endings.

For a writer this is a bit worrying. The absence of creative impulses means a slow death to all artistic, creative and sexual responses. This leads to dullness and dullness leads to madness and ultimately to things such as banana milkshakes. Or other tastes that, despite the numerous accidents that involved the use of a blender, just lack any bite. In other words: my species is very likely to die of boredom, not because of age, blender accidents or dangerous woodcutting. So yes, blogging may well be less life-threatening than, say gardening, but it IS mentioned. So there may lie some truth in the picture above.

I have to avoid dullness. Mind you, the heart of a writer does not fear death, it fears creativity’s decay. Death never runs out of ideas, not even on Friday 5:00 PM. I know he’ll come up with something and I expect to be surprised. We all do. I’m just afraid I can not compete with him. For Death manages to surprise, even when doing his chores.

Behind this and every fear however, there lies a fear for the opposite. In this case, underneath the fear of creativity’s decay, there lies the fear of a new beginning.

We writers have an ambiguous relationship with perfection. On the one hand we continuous strive to reach perfection, on the other hand, we fear all things and creations that are already perfect. Like virgins and white sheets of paper. The virgin state stuns the writer. Gazed upon, he’ll find himself turned into a statue of stone, because perfection is just a nickname for Medusa’s face.

What does that say? Well obviously, a virginal package doesn’t contain babies. Not without divine intervention that is. Nonetheless, I must admit I feel somewhat disappointed. I suppose I thought blogging would somehow take care much of that productive part. Which it didn’t, of course. Virginity is perfection and if you want to keep things perfect, you’ll never make babies.

Okay… So, I’ll have to succumb to chaos, ravish my own perfection and enjoy it all together? Sounds a bit vulgar.

No. I guess it’s a bit like making your own Curriculum Vitae. There isn’t one way to do it perfect. And if you try, it will probably end up soaking up the spoiled coffee on someone’s desk. The best advertisement is the one that creates questions. Therefore, a CV that leaves nothing to ask, nothing to query about, is just one dull piece of paper. It might be perfect. Like blank paper. Virgins. Banana milkshake. But it’s dull. And no one cares about hiring a dull person. People like to believe there’s room for improvement. Especially if they feel they can play a role in that. Hence my CV’s are never perfect, always full of contradictions. Just like me.

Conclusion: Medusa was a virgin too. Yet more important: my blog needs improvement. It needs some more imperfection. Less bananas. Because, Death may like banana milkshake. But I don’t.

————
picture “Dangers” made by Randall Munroe, taken from www.xkcd.com, and edited by me.
Advertisements

1 Comment

  1. August 27, 2009 at 02:12

    Gioword! As always, I enjoy your site. Hope do some joint workings very soon in the future!

    PS – Thanks for the helping hand on my site! I appreciate you commentary, views and thoughtfullness.

    Continued Success!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: